For many Jews in the diaspora, October 7 was not just a tragedy in Israel—it was a wake-up call. Overnight, the unspoken sense of belonging in their own communities was shaken, as rising antisemitism, social alienation, and even friendships were put to the test. Being Jewish suddenly became a defining aspect of our identities, whether it be because we embraced this notion ourselves or because others began to perceive us differently. Feeling unwelcome or scared due to our Jewish identities is a consequence of this war that is inescapably real. The conflict didn’t just reshape political views—it fundamentally changed how Jews approach their daily lives, relationships, and feelings of security.
Media frequently shared within the Jewish community highlights incidents such as shootings at yeshivas, attacks on Jewish elementary schools, swastikas defacing synagogues, and molotov cocktails being thrown at Jewish establishments. Despite each of these hate crimes happening in Montreal, (some of which on a consistent basis) the news rarely seems to make it out of the Jewish community. While these acts of antisemitism are deeply concerning, sharing personal experiences with those outside the Jewish community can help reveal the support that surrounds us more than we may realize. These attacks represent a small portion of society, and by opening up about our experiences, we can help others better understand our perspective.
To explore how to navigate these challenges, I spoke with multiple individuals. Three of whom will be the basis of this article; a mother named Charlie living in Montreal, a friend named Andrew who recently made aliyah and enlisted in the IDF, and another friend named Ariel who moved to Montreal from Israel after the start of the war. Each offers unique insights into their coping strategies, sources of support, and how they respond to the current climate.
Since October 7, many have felt a shift in their sense of safety and belonging, with some experiencing or witnessing antisemitism. Interviewees mention that they have experienced some blatant antisemitism, with one of them having been physically attacked downtown for being at a Purim party, and another having antisemitic articles being assigned in their class. However, it’s the accumulation of more subtle experiences—like a constant sense of unease, “definitely feeling tension in more urban areas,” and “encountering antisemitism on social media”—that has weighed on them the most.
Social relationships have also been affected. Interviewees are largely surrounded by a Jewish circle. However, the absence of outreach from their non-Jewish friends has felt isolating, deepening their existing connection to the Jewish community. Charlie mentioned a strong pressure to stay engaged with the hostage crisis, noting that this emotional toll makes it hard to keep up with social relationships, as she feels it takes up much of her energy. One interviewee shared that he even blocked two non-Jewish friends after they tried to "educate" him on the crisis—when he responded, they left him on read. However, interviewees mentioned that they received support when they reached out to non-Jewish friends about their negative feelings, and it was only when others approached them that they felt criticized.
Downplaying their Jewish identity was not something any of the interviewees stood for, but something they all recognized among other Jews. Andrew mentioned, “People feel like it is political to express their identity, so to make their life easier, they hide it more”. On the other hand, other people also noticed a larger expression in Jewish identity: “I think people are fighting back more by wearing a Magen David necklace publicly”. It seems as though the interviewees are conveying that while people are increasingly proud of their Jewish identity, they may feel it's more convenient to conceal it in certain situations.
When talking about their emotions, a huge commonality among younger Jews was feeling for other Jews around them, more than feeling bad about the war itself. One interviewee acknowledged the tragedy but admitted he hasn’t had to cope with it much personally, instead finding himself surrounded by others who are more deeply affected. Andrew mentioned, “The war made me want to move to Israel, because seeing how much it affected Canada and the people I know gave me a big sense of responsibility and I wanted to come do what I could to help”, emphasizing that his source of anguish from the war had to do more with seeing his friends and families reactions than the actual war.
For Ariel, the emotional burden was tied to his close friends. “Seeing my friend and what he had to go through [having a cousin kidnapped] was a roller coaster,” he shared, describing how his friend’s personality shifted from being bright and smiley to withdrawn and serious. “He wouldn’t spend time with friends or go on trips because he felt guilty and wanted to wait until the war was over and his cousin was back.” By the time this article was written, Ariel’s friend’s cousin had been released. Another one of his friends, Nir, was deployed in Gaza, Lebanon, and Syria, and the uncertainty of his safety was the hardest part—“not knowing what could happen.” Several of Ariel’s other friends were stationed in Gaza even longer, intensifying the stress.
Charlie described feeling helpless, angry, and guilty—wanting to take action but feeling powerless from afar. She says, “I still want to know what happened that day. How did it happen? How were they not prepared? Why has nobody taken responsibility?” Furthermore, worrying about the hostages and the price we have to pay for their return leaves her with feelings of unease and worry.
Despite these challenges, resilience has come from different sources. Some have found strength through the unity of the Jewish community and the support from other communities. One interviewee leaned on friends who offered new perspectives while also trying to stay connected to their faith. Ariel, on the other hand, coped by keeping up with the news without allowing himself to be consumed by it. Unlike many Israelis glued to their screens, he avoided “drowning in the sadness” to stay grounded.
Finally, interviewees all felt some sort of surprise at the world’s reaction after October 7. What surprised them most was the double standards and unwillingness of people with opposing views to engage in discussion. One interviewee was shocked by the world’s support for Hamas, calling it “absolute insanity,” and was disappointed by the widespread claims of genocide based on selective news sources. The tearing down of hostage posters was another moment of disbelief. Another interviewee was pleasantly surprised by the number of non-Jewish friends supporting Israel, noting, “I didn’t post about other world issues, so it was heartwarming when non-jews post in support of Israel.”
Ariel was surprised by the fact that many Jews outside of Israel only expressed their outrage after October 7th, since he feels that acts of terror have been going on for a long time and should have always been at the forefront of concern. However, he feels no responsibility to educate others, believing, “At the end of the day, we [Israelis] are alone in this.” He sees excessive efforts to prove Israel’s case as unnecessary, saying, “The amount of people in the media discussing this is bloated,” feeling that neutral observers are overwhelmed with too much information which only makes them tune out to the issue altogether. While he acknowledges conversations are fine, he finds most opposing voices too closed-minded, often turning discussions into arguments. In the context of educating others, Andrew says: “Personally, I don’t feel an obligation– I mean I am living in Israel. But in the diaspora I think there should be better education about the Jewish and the Muslim community in all schools so people can understand the conflict and the cultures better.”
A common thread shared by the interviewees was the feeling that going to Israel and/or becoming more directly involved in supporting Israel is a source of strength. They emphasized that when they are in Israel, their feeling of belonging deepens. Alternatively, when outside of Israel, sharing personal experiences face-to-face rather than posting on social media fosters greater empathy, helping others better understand their perspective and creating stronger connections to the people around us. All interviewees agree that the best ways to cope with the emotional toll of October 7th and its aftermath include staying connected to the community, spending time with friends in person, limiting overexposure to news and social media, and prioritizing self-care.
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