As tragedies mount and others continue to turn against us, it’s harder than ever to maintain faith that God has our back. This doubt has plagued the Jews for ages; in the Torah, the nation of Israel continually complains that Hashem has forsaken them, even after being saved again and again, due to a lack of immediate certainty that they’ll overcome their next obstacle. Take the sin of the spies, wherein 10 individuals convince a nation of approximately three million that the land of Cana’an is unconquerable. They wail and moan that they were better off in Egypt, leaving no faith in a God who brought them forth from that very land only a few years prior. We can criticize their short-sightedness, but also understand their mindset- when the odds seem insurmountable, things seem bleak until the obstacle is actually overcome. Nowadays, in an era when miracles seem fewer and further between, the global Jewish community grapples with this key tenet of Judaism: when God seems invisible, how can I keep believing?
This question is echoed by singer-songwriter Ezra Koenig of indie band Vampire Weekend. Far less edgy and slightly less pretentious than their name suggests, Koenig and Co. produce songs with a vast range of musical styles and lyrical themes. But on their 5-minute epic titled ‘Ya Hey’, the frontman faces this same dilemma. Speaking to God himself, Ezra reminds him that he’s losing his followers in this world, as “Zion doesn’t love you / And Babylon don’t love you” equates the Jewish community’s disillusionment to its enemies’ nonbelief. Koenig, like most Jews, seeks to break this barrier: “In the dark of this place / There’s the glow of your face.” In the bleakest moments, God is more appealing than ever. While his presence isn’t fully there, the ‘glow’ remains, a figurative ray of hope that the rest of God’s image will appear next.
However, even this may not be enough for Koenig. In the song’s bizarre chorus, the singer has a back-and-forth conversation with a distorted, chipmunk-pitched voice which does not respond coherently. As he calls out “through the fire and the flames”, the response is a garbled “yah hey”, repeated in different tones but never more clearly. The response initially seems like gibberish, but upon inspection, the words ‘yah hey’ resemble the classic Christian transliteration of Hashem’s proper name in the Torah, ‘Yahweh’. God is saying his name for Koenig to hear, but he can’t fully connect with the delivery. His confusion turns to frustration, as he demands “You won’t even say your name / Only, ‘I am that I am’ / But who could ever live that way?” Koenig, searching for answers in a sea of unknowing, cannot even get reassurance that a higher power is present, even being denied His name. After all, if God’s there for him, why can’t he get a straight answer to the world’s most basic question?
These lyrics directly allude to parasha Shemot, wherein Moses is introduced to Hashem through the burning bush, serving as the metaphorical fire and flames. Although Moses does become the only prophet to speak with God ‘face to face’, his initial interaction is shrouded in secrecy. Here, too, God reveals his name as ׳אהיה אשר אהיה׳, or ‘I am that I am’, with instructions to tell the Jews that his name is merely ‘אהיה’, or ‘I am’. Not only does Moses get stuck with a nickname, the nation of theoretical believers get only half of what he does. Moses is dissatisfied with this answer, and despite Hashem using his real name frequently afterwards, Moses continues to doubt both the Jew’s belief and his own ability to act as God’s messenger. Since his first impression of God is unclear, it takes the entire subsequent series of plagues, miracles and the Exodus to convince both the people and Moses that God’s power is to be trusted. Even so, both parties have bouts of unfaithfulness throughout their journey to the future land of Israel, with both being excluded from the final destination due to their doubts- Moses hitting the rock and the nation trusting the evil spies.
Koenig sees his ancestors’ doubts and seeks to play his hand differently: “And I can’t help but feel / That I’ve made some mistake / But I let it go / Yah hey.” He doesn’t want to repeat the loss of faith that has plagued his nation for thousands of years, but still finds it difficult to make that change, as he reminds the listener with those final two words. Despite his best efforts to see the history of the Jews’ continued redemption by Yahweh, he can still only see Yah Hey. But he finishes the chorus- and the song- by calling out “Yah Hay / Ut Deo” himself, with the latter lyrics roughly translating to ‘as a God’ from Latin. Even if God himself gives a confusing answer, Koenig grabs onto it anyway, seeking to connect with what still seems impossible for him to understand. ‘Yahweh, as a God’- it may not be exactly what he requested, but he’ll make it work. The angelic backing vocals as he finishes the song hammer the message home, as if the heavens are indeed open for someone reaching for God however they can.
The Jewish people have both radically unified and split over the past few years. While communities from all different backgrounds are connecting to overcome adversity, individuals are feeling more lost than ever. I invite those struggling with faith to join Vampire Weekend in putting the big picture aside for a minute. Come to terms with the difficulties rather than letting them further beat you down. Once that’s done, you can come to terms with a ‘Yah Hey’ even if your endgame is ‘Yahweh’.
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